Sunday, May 13, 2012

Most embarrasing mom, the high school version

I first wrote about becoming the “Most Embarrassing Mom” a few years ago. Our kids will tell you that I have won this contest hands down, but unfortunately, I can’t seem to stop embarrassing them, especially now that they’re in high school.
Are you the parent of a high school student? Have you ever been accused of embarrassing your child? Our girls are looking for someone to relieve me of my title.
Here are some tips on how you, too, can become the “Most Embarrassing Mom” of a high school student:
• On the first day of school, help your freshman bring her books to her locker. When she can’t open her locker, ask another freshman, preferably a boy she has never met, to help her.
• Ask your daughters if their high school needs chaperones for any field trips or school dances. Better yet, volunteer to work in the cafeteria at lunchtime. When you see her in line, make sure you say “Hi honey!” in front of all her friends.
• Quiz your daughter about who her friends are going to a school dance with. Ask if each one is a “nice boy.”
• When a boy comes to pick up your daughter at your house, make sure the whole family is there to meet him. Ask the young man what his “intentions” are. Before they leave, make them get together for a picture. Ignore the stink-eye your daughter is giving you.
• Wave to your teen while she’s doing her cheerleading routine during halftime. Invite her grandma to come to the game too, so you can both wave at her. Tell her how cute she looks in her cheer uniform in front of her friends. Take more pictures.
• Hire your daughter’s friend to help you with a project at work. Tell your teen how “responsible” her friend is. Ask your daughter for her friend’s phone number so you can text her about the project. Each time you get a text from her friend, announce it to your daughter.
• Take your daughter shopping for a prom dress. Suggest gowns that you think are “really pretty.” Make your daughter try them on. While she’s in the dressing room, discuss strapless bras with the saleslady.
• Tell your daughter to “slow down” whenever she drives you somewhere. Continue to narrate potential obstacles in the road like she’s a student driver. Tell her you have been driving for 28 years and you know what you are talking about. Remind her she’s only had her license for nine months.
• Take your daughter on college tours. When visiting the college bookstore, ask the person at the register what her major is and where she’s from. Make sure your daughter is within earshot so she can hear you asking these questions.
• Be the mom that asks the most questions during a college tour. Start each one with “My daughter wants to know…”
• Download digital copies of your daughter’s artwork on your smartphone to show any teachers you meet on college tours.
• If you see a student going inside the dorms, ask if you can go in with them and see what a dorm room looks like. Introduce your daughter to the student.
If you “embarrassing” moms need a break from the job, I have another idea for you: Let the dads take over.
Just think of the endless possibilities for embarrassment.

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