Monday, January 06, 2014

Take a break

Jennifer Huffman is on vacation.
Her column will return in two weeks when a number of Christmas/end-of-2013 questions could be answered.
For starters:
Did College Girl’s flight home arrive on time and was the airport reunion like what mom and dad imagined?
Did all family members, including grandparents, get enough face time with College Girl during her visit?
Did mom get her fill of hugs from College Girl?
Did her younger sisters get their fill of big sister? Or were they happy to wave goodbye to College Girl so they could take over her room again?
Did middle daughter clean out her bedroom closet like mom hoped she would?
As the foster parent of College Girl’s ferret, did the two sisters fight over the pet?
And did anyone bother to clean out the ferret’s cage?
Did the Huffman girls see their out-of-town cousins for Christmas and did all cousins return to their respective homes lice-free, unlike a previous visit that someone has been forbidden to write about?
Did all Huffmans make Santa’s “nice” list this year?
Was Santa able to find the Huffman house on Dec. 25?
How many times did mom have to invoke “the meaning of Christmas” during the past two weeks? How many times on Christmas Day itself?
Is dad happy with the new power tools that mom picked out at Home Depot?
Is he impressed that mom now understands the difference between 18-volt and 20-volt DeWalt cordless impact drivers?
Is mom happy with her Christmas gifts? Translation: Is she wearing a new pair of Uggs today?
Did mom find time to make the Christmas cookies she bought all the ingredients for or did someone just eat all of the semisweet chocolate morsels straight out of the bag?
Do her pants still fit after two weeks of pumpkin pie, cookie and chocolate eating?
Which of the following movies did the Huffman family watch over Christmas: “The Polar Express,” “The Sound of Music,” “It’s a Wonderful Life” or “Anchorman 2’’?
Did the family’s 16-year-old couch with the broken springs finally succumb over the holidays and if so, has dad’s new Barcalounger been delivered yet?
How many times did mom have to ask the girls to write their “thank you” notes and have they actually been mailed yet?
Did mom manage to read that new Stephen King novel or is it still on the floor by the bed?
Did mom catch up on her sleep?
Is she ready for 2014?
Jennifer Huffman is on vacation. Her column will return in two weeks.

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